Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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