I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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