apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
