so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
