I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize