Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
