We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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