you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
