the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I use my feet as sexual weapons
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
