please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
