I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I need to calm my uterus...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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