we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
