guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The air taste purple.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
