why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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