My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
