so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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