I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
