some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
