Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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