she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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