My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
