I want to stick my p in your. b.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
