we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I lost the right to judge tonight
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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