I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
