i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
