I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
