I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
