Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize