We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
