lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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