..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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