I hope mine doesn't look like that
Fuck appropriateness.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
