So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
