I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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