hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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