I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Drake has all the answers
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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