He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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