I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
