wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
