It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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