if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
