So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
