dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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