Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
