I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
