my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
