Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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