You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
