Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
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