Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
