no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
