yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
