So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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