That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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