I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
