I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
