can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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