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The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
