someone get that fucking seahorse.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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