I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The adults are the big ones right?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
