i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
