i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
