Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
