Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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