apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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