I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I fill condoms, not promises.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
