can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize