I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
