I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
