I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
