Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
