from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
