you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize