Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She's the barista slut.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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