Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
