You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
