so that wasnt chicken after all
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
