Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
