he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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