This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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