Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
