the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
