I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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