then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
